What is the appropriate wedding gift if I did not attend the wedding?
June 8th, 2009 | 
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Jessica W asked:
My friend and his wife got married in Europe and my husband and I could not go to the wedding. They were at our wedding two years ago and I have no idea what is the appropriate wedding gift? Do I give them half of what they gave us since they did not have to pay for us at their wedding? Should I send a check or get a few remaining items from their registry? I don’t want to offend them but have no idea what I am supposed to spend, please help.
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gifts for women
something small from their registry … maybe a set of glasses or something that comes in a set … that way you get them something but you don’t seem cheap
wedding gift
If you didn’t attend the wedding, it is appropriate to sent a small gift. The amount can depend on a few factors (1) your budget and how much you WANT to spend, (2) the amount they spent on a gift for your own wedding and/or other events, (3) the average cost per person of their wedding (i.e. if it’s a high-class event with rich friends you may want to spend more knowing that their expectations and similar spending on your own events in turn may be high), and (4) your closeness to the wedding party. For small, less expensive weddings that you didn’t attend, anything between $40-$75 seems appropriate. For bigger, more expensive wedding, anywhere between $50-$100 seems to work.
anniversary gifts
I would check their registry and get an item that’s left on there, because you know the couple wants the items on the list, so you can’t go wrong. I would spend what you feel you need to, depending on your relationship is with them. If your really close get them something nice, if its casual get them a couple of the lower priced items on the registry if there is any.
Also include a note maybe for the couple with the gift saying you hope their day was wonderful and sorry you couldn’t be apart of it.
gift for her
Spend the same amount that you would have spent if you went. That’s what I would do. Pick something off their registry and send along a card saying how sorry you were to miss the wedding.
unique gift ideas
Get them something from their registry or something that you think or know that they can use.
romantic gifts
If I cannot attend, I usually send a gift card for a place they are registered at for half the amount I would normally give. I know people will not agree with that, but it’s a system that works for me.
gift bags
something from their registry
unique gift
Just spend what you can and want to spend. A gift card or a check would suffice. Or, find their registry and get what is within your budget. I never looked at my gifts and thought “Wow, I’m offended that they didn’t spend more on me.” I was just very thankful.
anniversary present
i would get them something off there list, and a really nice card.