ExcitedEYE Unique Gift Shopping

I am about to get get married in 2 weeks .I am a mormon and do not believe in *** before marriage but my friends bought me a blow up doll as a *** gift for my batchelor party and I drank alcohol for the 1st time in my life and had my 1st sexual experience with the doll that they gave me and because of that I feel I cheated and now I can not marry my future bride . I was always taught that if you have *** with someone you should marry them. What should I do ??????

gift for him

Hi,

I giving two groomsmen an engraved pen as a gift at our wedding in July, but I am unsure what to say on the engraving. It could be something humorous or something thoughtful.

Does anyone have any ideas ?

Thanks

GW

gift for dad

I just ordered a custom sand message from an online site (east coast somewhere), which is 8 x10 glossy paper. They draw a message on the beach for you, and take a pic of it. I thought it was a really creative gift. I put a custom message on it that was more humorous than mooshy lovey dovey (fits her personality more). I’ll also put it in a cool frame. I’d also like to note that I live in a state that has no beaches.

Would you girls out there enjoy this as a gift? Or is this lame?

gift bags

Making a mix as part of a baby shower gift. So far have came up with
Breathe In, Breathe Out
Push It

Any other ideas. Humorous suggestions welcome.

personalized gift

How can this be.. some ree ree deleted and sent me to violation on this cute and funny joke that i sent 7 months ago and just now desided to delet it… that is just plain stupid!! anyways i desided to resend it again.. here it is..

I like monkeys.

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that
odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to
look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His
name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really
bright. They kept punching themselves in their ********. I laughed.
Then they punched my ********. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn’t adapt very well to their new
environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at
high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the
spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta’ dropped dead.
Kinda’ like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn
cheap monkeys.

I didn’t know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my
room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked
like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn’t work. It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for
a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real
bad.

I had to *** but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn’t want
to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately
there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change
them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so
it didn’t all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to
extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in
my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor
wasn’t improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the
bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn’t
allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet
one. He couldn’t take that one either. I didn’t bother asking about the
frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My
friends didn’t know quite what to say. They pretended that they like
them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in
the ********.

I like monkeys

gift for

Long ago, on Christmas mornings, we used to let the kids play with stocking gifts before they would wake us up. Of course, each year they got up earlier and earlier, so we came up with a plan.

We put a dollar in the christmas stocking, and it had a rhyme and hint directing each child where to find the next dollar, and that dollar had a hint too. After $5 (frankly, we ran out of hints and rhymes) the last dollar says Merry Christmas! And then the kids come to “wake us up” to open gifts.

Yes, the pitter-patter of little feet wandering around the house trying to figure out the clues is adorable. And even a little humorous as they got older and had to stifle little profanities (the clues get more challenging with age too).

What fun holiday traditions do you torture your family with?
Hi Gene,

I don’t think the purpose of the “Conversations” trilogy, et al, was to recruit believers. The purpose was to let people know that God isn’t bound by “people’s” rules for God. God gets to love anybody and everybody without reserve.

And I don’t believe that God cares that we’ve misinterpretted a date to justify giving unconditionally through a foundation of love an good will.

The books also confirm that Mormons, Catholics, Muslims, sinners, and Hindus can be loved by God without belonging to a group or reading a series of books.

Great series, truly! But it loses something when it isn’t written to you, for you, by God. And that is what happens when someone forces it on you.

anniversary gifts

My mother is one of those people that has EVERYTHING in the world already. I thought it would be nice for my 5 year old daughter to make her something instead of doing the same ol’ card and flowers ***. Does anyone have any cute ideas for a youngster to do for Mother’s day?

gag gift

places, how to introduce new search & items to find. want it to be **** & tasteful. *** gifts for her man maybe???

birthday gift

Is this a logic argument?
(sorry it kinda long)

Banning Christmas

It is a special time of year. Everyone is looking forward to the days ahead. Bright lights decorate the exterior which contrast the thick smoke the chimney brings. Many houses smell like pine or maple trees mixed with left-over turkey and stuffing from the Thanksgiving meal. The parking lots of all stores are full. The streets and roads are filled with white. Wal-Mart is lowering their prices even more then they were originally. People rush to be the first to get the latest Elmo doll. The endless loops of holiday movies are shown. The anticipation of December 25th is what I am referring too, “The Holiday Season”, “Christmas Time”, “Festivus”. This time of giving and sharing is an example of how kind-hearted the human race can be. And what is the reason, we do this every year; well, to gratify the children and see their smile on Christmas morning. On second thought, this is not a time for giving and sharing; instead, this is a time where depression is on the rise. Little kids are lied to in order to get them to be good. Human materialism becomes even more evident. Also no one can universally agree on what we should call this time of year and reason we celebrate this period. These facts are why I have come up with a controversial solution to end Christmas.
Many people believe around the Christmas holiday there is a spike in the ******* rate. This is in fact not true. In a study analyzed about a year ago of 188,000 suicides in the Untied States, it was found that there were on average 102 less suicides on holidays compared to other days of the year, and with the focus on Christmas, there is an apparent drop in these deaths. Even though there are less suicides around this season, the depression rate seem much worse with many people sleeping and eating irregularly while trying to juggle the everyday hassle of work, an increase in social obligations and parties, shopping, decorating, wrapping, entertaining and staying on budget. “Over eating and over drinking combined with a decreased amount of sleep is also a formula for extreme emotional swings – feelings of elation followed twelve hours later by a transient drop in mood,” Dr. Michael Spevack from MUHC psychologist explains. The extreme pressure to impress love with gifts can take a negative effect on your mental heath as well. This can cause many to go spend more money then than can afford, only building to the stress. As the year comes to its end, this period is also a time of reflection. Around this time others look back and see the losses that may have happened throughout the year. This may include the loss of a family member or loved one be it through separation, divorce or death, or the loss of a job or position, or even the loss of familiar social environment as in recently moving away from home. Being around various friends and family members can heighten the tension and increase conflict, adding to the already depressing and stressful time. We as human have learned to deal with a lot of this stresses at an early age.
Almost as soon as we are born, we are indoctrinated to believe in a mythical being that fly around the world with eight or nine reindeers in one night, lives on the North Pole and goes by the name Santa Clause. Santa Clause also known as Saint Nicholas was a noble figure in early American history. The early Vikings dedicated their cathedral to him once they settled in Greenland. Many other places were named after Saint Nicholas in the Central American region, and he was even given a day on December sixth 1492 after Columbus names a port after him. Years later by the sixteenth century, during the Protestant reformation, saints were given a dimmer view. After the American Revolution, many left there colonial roots behind then. In January 1809, Washington Irving joined the Historical Society, a society that promoted Saint Nicholas as a saint that is a special protector of a person, group or place. The day he joined was Saint Nicholas day and that year he published the humorous fiction, Knickerbocker’s History of New York, with several references to Saint Nicholas as a jolly character. The New York Historical Society held its first Saint Nicholas anniversary dinner on December 6, 1810, where he was given a more American style. This new gift-giving, children loving, jolly, old elf, received a big boost in 1823, do to the poem which was intended to become popular, “A Visit from St. Nicholas,” which is now known as “The Night Before Christmas”. Many other writers and artists continued the change to an elf-like St. Nicholas, “Sancte Claus,” or “Santa Claus,” unlike the stately European bishop. This name was a direct phonetic modification from the German “Sankt Niklaus” and Dutch “Sinterklaas” which mean Saint Nicholas. Of course this is not what the children are taught to believe, instead they are lied to. This is a terrible habit that many people would be punished fo

gift idea

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months and his birthday is coming up. All his other girlfriends got him material gifts. I would like to cook him his favorite meal, buy him a *** gift, and then also get him something serious…Then take him to this island place on the water (even tho its a little cold…..) but build a fire & bring some blankets…if you were a dude would you be interested in this or is it lame?

gift ideas